Mattress Theory

As you probably know, I have been doing a lot of contemplating as to why people settle.  Why is the fear of being alone so great that we would rather form a commitment to someone we like maybe half of the time?  Why can’t we wait for the perfect match?  Tonight, I may have uncovered one of the reasons.  


The mattress.


It started out like any other evening.  I put my usual load of bed linens in the washer and pranced back up to my apartment to engage in my other single girl living on her own activities (nothing dirty for all you wandering minds) until they were finished.  After pulling them out of the dryer and heading back into my bedroom, I decided I wanted to flip my mattress.  This isn’t the most swiftly done task on my own, but doable.  I lifted up the mattress and after a few uncomfortable maneuvers, successfully turned it over.  The next part is where things got tricky.  I decided I wanted to rotate it lengthwise as well, so the “head” and “foot” areas were reversed.  Now my room isn’t small but I have done a pretty good job of cramming as much into the space as possible.  The bed is also up against the wall making this task more difficult.  So I started shifting, a moment later a lamp was knocked over and it just kept on becoming more complicated.  Not to mention that even with the A/C on, I was really started to feel the effects of the current heat wave in the city.  More awkward poses and standing on items that could give from my weight at any moment.   And then finally… completion… and a loud sigh of relief to no  one.  I was exhausted and now I still had the undertaking of making the bed.  Everyone knows that putting the fitted sheet on alone is the worst.  After tucking in one corner I lunged quickly to the next while still holding down the previous corner and praying it doesn’t slide off.  It was clearly a site to see.  I struggle to get it on and realize it’s inside out.  I sigh again to the nonexistent person in the room and try again, this time a little more rapidly.  From there I continued on to make the rest of the bed and I stared at my job well done.  That’s when I felt the painful realization of how much simpler this would have been if I had someone to tackle this chore with.  And furthermore, how much nicer it would be to have someone sleep in the bed with me.  And maybe other single people out there have felt this too and it’s fueled there need to find anyone so they wouldn’t have to feel this way any longer.  But that is not a strong enough reason for me to settle and so, I’ll keep doing these chores on my own and waiting.  And then, after my patience pays off, I can be with my intended partner and find joy and appreciation in every thing we do, even if it’s just making the bed. 


Also, I should probably let you all know that Thursday is my typical laundry night.  If you don’t hear from me the next day, please have someone come check my apartment to be sure I’m not suffocating under my mattress.  I would really hate for my obituary to read single girl refuses to settle and dies alone flipping her mattress.